No luck for me on the new job yet, so I'm back to scouring the job adverts. I'm at the stage now where I would even consider a Catholic school, although I'm not sure they would consider me. I'm not even sure if you have to be a believer, a church-goer, or avoid mentioning the Reformation if you work in a Catholic school. I really am that ignorant about it.
I was mulling it over on my way to school this morning, and imagining how I would respond to interview questions about my beliefs and faith. But try as I might, I couldn't get the Father Ted response from my mind: "That would be an ecumenical matter"...
Thursday, 17 April 2008
Monday, 14 April 2008
Random Pupil Generator
I saw a question on a discussion board that asked if anyone had a Random Pupil Generator. My mind actually boggled. What was this? A machine that can generate a pupil at any time, any place? How random would this pupil actually be? Would he stand there, befuddled, clutching a guitar or test tube, having been summoned from another lesson into mine? Or would she be an amalgamation of pupils, with the head of one vaguely recognisable pupil and the uniform of a rival school? I had to read on, as you can imagine.
What I discovered was no less amazing, although far more credible and practical. It's actually called a Random Name Picker, and is a fruit machine (or typewriter for those, I suppose, in religious schools where gambling is frowned upon) into which you can copy a class list or any old list of words. The machine then generates a highlighted name at random. Genius! I've just got to figure out how you can save one of your lists now...
What I discovered was no less amazing, although far more credible and practical. It's actually called a Random Name Picker, and is a fruit machine (or typewriter for those, I suppose, in religious schools where gambling is frowned upon) into which you can copy a class list or any old list of words. The machine then generates a highlighted name at random. Genius! I've just got to figure out how you can save one of your lists now...
Saturday, 12 April 2008
Back to the Old School 5
The Ranting Teacher Five Year Retrospective
So here it is, my fifth blog entry for today, to mark Ranting Teacher’s fifth birthday. If you’ve just arrived now, it would probably make more sense to start back down there at the first entry of the day. But, please, that’s just a suggestion; after all, it’s the weekend, it’s my birthday, and I’d like us all to just relax and enjoy… if you can actually enjoy a good moan, that is. Well, I know I can.
Anyhow, I’ve been taking a peek back at my younger self to see what was getting my goat around this time five years ago; what drove me to commit my thoughts to cyberspace before I got committed myself…
Perhaps shockingly to some, but perfectly understandable to others, my work colleagues could sometimes really piss me off. Perhaps I’ve saved this topic until last because it’s the most important factor in why schools fall apart and don’t do as well as they could. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link… and it’s sad to say that there are quite a few weak links in schools and the education system as a whole. My thoughts on this haven’t really changed, and what I think I fear the most is that I will slip into the easy existence of a bone-idle incompetent teacher – and I’ve met a few of these. The more I see those around me - and allegedly in charge of me - cutting corners and screwing up, the more I worry that their bad influence is rubbing off on me.
Five years ago, I wrote about other teachers annoying me by leaving pathetic cover lessons when I was the teacher filling in for them, including the ubiquitous wordsearch, which still annoys me to this day. Then there were the times that somebody else was in my classroom and I would dread walking back in there afterwards, knowing I would be confronted with sweet wrappers, used tissues all over the place, and wrecked wall displays. Since then, I have witnessed many more instances of incompetence, laziness, and double standards. And maybe soon it will be time to spill some more beans on some of the worst offenders I’ve had the displeasure to work with over the past few years...
So here it is, my fifth blog entry for today, to mark Ranting Teacher’s fifth birthday. If you’ve just arrived now, it would probably make more sense to start back down there at the first entry of the day. But, please, that’s just a suggestion; after all, it’s the weekend, it’s my birthday, and I’d like us all to just relax and enjoy… if you can actually enjoy a good moan, that is. Well, I know I can.
Anyhow, I’ve been taking a peek back at my younger self to see what was getting my goat around this time five years ago; what drove me to commit my thoughts to cyberspace before I got committed myself…
Perhaps shockingly to some, but perfectly understandable to others, my work colleagues could sometimes really piss me off. Perhaps I’ve saved this topic until last because it’s the most important factor in why schools fall apart and don’t do as well as they could. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link… and it’s sad to say that there are quite a few weak links in schools and the education system as a whole. My thoughts on this haven’t really changed, and what I think I fear the most is that I will slip into the easy existence of a bone-idle incompetent teacher – and I’ve met a few of these. The more I see those around me - and allegedly in charge of me - cutting corners and screwing up, the more I worry that their bad influence is rubbing off on me.
Five years ago, I wrote about other teachers annoying me by leaving pathetic cover lessons when I was the teacher filling in for them, including the ubiquitous wordsearch, which still annoys me to this day. Then there were the times that somebody else was in my classroom and I would dread walking back in there afterwards, knowing I would be confronted with sweet wrappers, used tissues all over the place, and wrecked wall displays. Since then, I have witnessed many more instances of incompetence, laziness, and double standards. And maybe soon it will be time to spill some more beans on some of the worst offenders I’ve had the displeasure to work with over the past few years...
Back to the Old School 4
The Ranting Teacher Five Year Retrospective
Five years ago, Ranting Teacher was born. I’ve been looking back to see what I was whinging about back then, and if much has changed in that time. This is my fourth of five entries for today, and it’s time to see what I was saying about the kids themselves back then.
They might have wound me up, lied to me, and not listened to a word I said, but sometimes they did make me laugh. I’d forgotten about the boy who ignored my careful instructions for his homework that he was supposed to copy down into his homework diary, and instead just wrote: “Do crappy homework by next Tuesday”. Then there was the boy who was supposed to be engaged in some meaningful paired discussion but instead was telling his small audience about his dad’s porn collection stashed in his wardrobe, unaware I could hear the whole conversation, and that it was all I could picture the next time I met his parents.
Five years ago, Ranting Teacher was born. I’ve been looking back to see what I was whinging about back then, and if much has changed in that time. This is my fourth of five entries for today, and it’s time to see what I was saying about the kids themselves back then.
They might have wound me up, lied to me, and not listened to a word I said, but sometimes they did make me laugh. I’d forgotten about the boy who ignored my careful instructions for his homework that he was supposed to copy down into his homework diary, and instead just wrote: “Do crappy homework by next Tuesday”. Then there was the boy who was supposed to be engaged in some meaningful paired discussion but instead was telling his small audience about his dad’s porn collection stashed in his wardrobe, unaware I could hear the whole conversation, and that it was all I could picture the next time I met his parents.
Back to the Old School 3
The Ranting Teacher Five Year Retrospective
This is the middle entry for today’s blogging. I’m writing five entries today, because the concept of Ranting Teacher started out on the Internet five years ago this very day, so five is the magic number!
I’ve been looking back over my original website at what was bothering me five years ago. And in doing so I’ve noticed that my posts broadly fall into three different categories: those concerning the pupils, those about their parents, and the rants about my colleagues.
The parents! you may well exclaim. Why yes, why should we not attribute some blame to those who spawn some of the little buggers we have to put up with all day? And sometimes the parents are far worse than their poor long-suffering kids.
For example, I wrote about the Road Rage I felt when parents blocked the roads and caused hazards not only for their darling children trying to reach the school gates safely, but also for me as I battled to beat the buses onto the premises in the morning.
Then I ranted about the parents who encourage their kids to be little shits because it’s some sort of revenge for their own failed school days. And just over four years ago it was time to catalogue the different types of parents who turned up for Parents’ Evenings, from the aggressive and trailer trash types to the nervous parents and those parents about whom you know way too much.
You can read more about all of these at my original website, whilst marvelling at its glorious html technicolour, at Ranting Teacher.
This is the middle entry for today’s blogging. I’m writing five entries today, because the concept of Ranting Teacher started out on the Internet five years ago this very day, so five is the magic number!
I’ve been looking back over my original website at what was bothering me five years ago. And in doing so I’ve noticed that my posts broadly fall into three different categories: those concerning the pupils, those about their parents, and the rants about my colleagues.
The parents! you may well exclaim. Why yes, why should we not attribute some blame to those who spawn some of the little buggers we have to put up with all day? And sometimes the parents are far worse than their poor long-suffering kids.
For example, I wrote about the Road Rage I felt when parents blocked the roads and caused hazards not only for their darling children trying to reach the school gates safely, but also for me as I battled to beat the buses onto the premises in the morning.
Then I ranted about the parents who encourage their kids to be little shits because it’s some sort of revenge for their own failed school days. And just over four years ago it was time to catalogue the different types of parents who turned up for Parents’ Evenings, from the aggressive and trailer trash types to the nervous parents and those parents about whom you know way too much.
You can read more about all of these at my original website, whilst marvelling at its glorious html technicolour, at Ranting Teacher.
Back to the Old School 2
The Ranting Teacher Five Year Retrospective
I’ve been reminiscing over my past five years of teaching on this, the occasion of Ranting Teacher’s fifth birthday. I wasn’t a new-born teacher back then, but at any stage in a career, a lot can change in five years – so reckoned Stalin eighty years ago. Mind you, Stalin would have expected all this hard graft in exchange for a bottle of vodka or something, so it kind of puts my previous discussion of pay into perspective.
The next entry I wrote on my original website was called The Importance of Being Sporty. I was fed up at the glorification of sporting achievements, which seemed to take precedence over any other pupil achievements. Also, I didn’t like having to appear like I cared about the under-14s quoits-tossing team’s success in the tossers’ championships. Now, have my attitudes changed over the past five years? Have I mellowed out? Um, no. Instead I have mastered the thousand-yard stare: handy not only in assembly when sports results are announced, but in many other school situations too – the staff meeting, the Inset course, the non-compliance of a class when asked to stop talking… In addition, I think with the rise of the internet, blogging, instant messaging, texting and so on, comes the rise of the techno-geek. Now geeks’ voices are being heard loud and strong across the globe, and there seems to be less shame in being in the spelling bee instead of the B-team of belly-floppers.
And this time five years ago I was cursing lying children who think we are stupid enough to believe the rubbish that comes out of their mouths. Well that still happens. My reactions these days veer between resignation (not literally - that would be drastic - but the internal eye-roll) and internalised anger (in the form of a really bloody rude swearing session inside my own head).
I’ve been reminiscing over my past five years of teaching on this, the occasion of Ranting Teacher’s fifth birthday. I wasn’t a new-born teacher back then, but at any stage in a career, a lot can change in five years – so reckoned Stalin eighty years ago. Mind you, Stalin would have expected all this hard graft in exchange for a bottle of vodka or something, so it kind of puts my previous discussion of pay into perspective.
The next entry I wrote on my original website was called The Importance of Being Sporty. I was fed up at the glorification of sporting achievements, which seemed to take precedence over any other pupil achievements. Also, I didn’t like having to appear like I cared about the under-14s quoits-tossing team’s success in the tossers’ championships. Now, have my attitudes changed over the past five years? Have I mellowed out? Um, no. Instead I have mastered the thousand-yard stare: handy not only in assembly when sports results are announced, but in many other school situations too – the staff meeting, the Inset course, the non-compliance of a class when asked to stop talking… In addition, I think with the rise of the internet, blogging, instant messaging, texting and so on, comes the rise of the techno-geek. Now geeks’ voices are being heard loud and strong across the globe, and there seems to be less shame in being in the spelling bee instead of the B-team of belly-floppers.
And this time five years ago I was cursing lying children who think we are stupid enough to believe the rubbish that comes out of their mouths. Well that still happens. My reactions these days veer between resignation (not literally - that would be drastic - but the internal eye-roll) and internalised anger (in the form of a really bloody rude swearing session inside my own head).
Old School Ranting Teacher
It's Ranting Teacher's 5th birthday!
Five years ago, when the word “blogging” was just a glint in the future pages of my own personal dictionary, and a rudimentary knowledge of html and clip-art-nicking was enough to get me by, I set up my Ranting Teacher website. I did it because writing, however shoddy its outcome, has always been therapeutic to me, and I felt like I needed some therapy after a day at the chalkface, as it was then.
But it wasn’t just for me to feel better after thumping away at my keyboard. I also felt that somehow people should really know what it’s like to work in a school. Now not all schools are like mine. Some are mismanaged to far greater degrees than mine. Many are full of much worse behaviour and kids from far more disadvantaged backgrounds than where I work right now. But anybody who has worked in a few schools will know how different they can each be, and yet the same themes crop up again and again.
In the past five years, blogs have come and blogs have gone. Hell, we even know what “blogging” means now. I’ve enjoyed reading a number of teaching blogs, some now sadly neglected or closed; they have made me laugh, despair, and empathise. Only recently I was surprised to come across one of my classes who appear to be leaping across the space-time continuum in order to be taught by a fellow blogger, Old Andrew.
In this fifth year of my blog’s existence, I finally caught up with all these new-fangled ways and joined a blogging site proper, whilst my old html efforts remain suspended in hyperspace. So I thought I would take this opportunity to look back over what on earth I was whinging about this time five years ago, in the first of five entries today to mark the occasion…
PAY was just about the first issue I wrote about. Some might call it a case of sour grapes, and they could well be right, but I was annoyed that I had missed out on the metallic shimmers of golden handshakes and hellos and handcuffs, and was instead paying the Student Loans Company what seemed like an enormous amount of my meagre wages each month for the privilege of having trained for servitude in the public sector.
So what’s changed in those five years? Well, the loans are finally paid off. But pay is still a contentious issue: are we about to slip-slide into a recession? How much higher can fuel costs go, and for how much longer can I actually afford to keep my car on the road? And will the teaching union strikes actually take place in just under two weeks’ time? Teaching pay will increase just 2.45% and yet inflation is 4.1%. My conditions of work, like almost every other teacher’s, appear to be getting worse, and yet my disposable income is less than it was a year ago, but more than it was five years ago when I languished much further down the payscale. I guess we’ll soon find out if the strikes (a) happen and (b) work! Here's hoping...
Five years ago, when the word “blogging” was just a glint in the future pages of my own personal dictionary, and a rudimentary knowledge of html and clip-art-nicking was enough to get me by, I set up my Ranting Teacher website. I did it because writing, however shoddy its outcome, has always been therapeutic to me, and I felt like I needed some therapy after a day at the chalkface, as it was then.
But it wasn’t just for me to feel better after thumping away at my keyboard. I also felt that somehow people should really know what it’s like to work in a school. Now not all schools are like mine. Some are mismanaged to far greater degrees than mine. Many are full of much worse behaviour and kids from far more disadvantaged backgrounds than where I work right now. But anybody who has worked in a few schools will know how different they can each be, and yet the same themes crop up again and again.
In the past five years, blogs have come and blogs have gone. Hell, we even know what “blogging” means now. I’ve enjoyed reading a number of teaching blogs, some now sadly neglected or closed; they have made me laugh, despair, and empathise. Only recently I was surprised to come across one of my classes who appear to be leaping across the space-time continuum in order to be taught by a fellow blogger, Old Andrew.
In this fifth year of my blog’s existence, I finally caught up with all these new-fangled ways and joined a blogging site proper, whilst my old html efforts remain suspended in hyperspace. So I thought I would take this opportunity to look back over what on earth I was whinging about this time five years ago, in the first of five entries today to mark the occasion…
PAY was just about the first issue I wrote about. Some might call it a case of sour grapes, and they could well be right, but I was annoyed that I had missed out on the metallic shimmers of golden handshakes and hellos and handcuffs, and was instead paying the Student Loans Company what seemed like an enormous amount of my meagre wages each month for the privilege of having trained for servitude in the public sector.
So what’s changed in those five years? Well, the loans are finally paid off. But pay is still a contentious issue: are we about to slip-slide into a recession? How much higher can fuel costs go, and for how much longer can I actually afford to keep my car on the road? And will the teaching union strikes actually take place in just under two weeks’ time? Teaching pay will increase just 2.45% and yet inflation is 4.1%. My conditions of work, like almost every other teacher’s, appear to be getting worse, and yet my disposable income is less than it was a year ago, but more than it was five years ago when I languished much further down the payscale. I guess we’ll soon find out if the strikes (a) happen and (b) work! Here's hoping...
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